Mean Ol’ Jessica

Those of you who tripped on WordPress and landed on my Tim O’reilly Chronicles: USC redo bit: I understand that it doesn’t make a lick of sense. Tim O’reilly, for you unfortunate souls not in the know, is a person that went to my high school (Upper St. Clair in Pittsburgh, Pa), someone I believed to have inspired in me a uniquely-labored-upon infatuation.

Little did I know, literally EVERYONE in high school felt exactly the same way that I did about Tim O’reilly. Almost twenty years later, on the cauldric fumes of facebook, we’ve econnected over this gorgeous-eyed Casanova who, as it turns out, is a total doll, like inside. I know that now because Tim joined facebook, friend requested me and is as sweetly humble as they come, totally flattered and delightfully susceptible to embarrassment, a sport in which I happen to take enormous delight. (Deserving a mention are both his outofcontrol cutiepie son and wife with a great sense of humor.)

So, anyway. This Tim O’reilly thing got us all reminiscing, as you would imagine. To the photo albums we went, taking smart phone pics of archaic, disposable-camera developments and posting them online for all to squeal that special #tbt squeal. And we did! And we loved it, and we loved each other, and we had little skips down memory lane, abandoning adulthood for the few moments that we could. And it was glorious.

AND OUT OF THE MISTY FOG OF HAPPINESS comes this woman–I’ll call her Jessica–with this foul insert:

Is it quite necessary to post photos this old? Life goes on and gets a hell of alot better depending on what you do with your life:

And then this:

Who has time for this! I don’t even have a family and I barely have time to breathe there is so much going on in NYC. I am pretty sure my Mother is Pittsburgh is the same. Sometimes just let it go. Live for today.

Let me draw this parallel to help that sink in:

  • because we posted old pictures
  • our lives suck

Crazy, right? She was torn to bits by all the, as one dear woman posted, ‘frumpy moms’ on the thread that hadn’t the glamour or intelligence to have had any experiences since 1998, I among them. So justice was served, if you think that defending yourself to a cruelly judgemental alum (who quickly blocked all posters involved) is justice.

But Jessica left a sad, bitter taste in my mouth. Was high school THAT BAD for her that she felt she should exact revenge in the trolliest of Instagram ways? I always had a suspicion that people who overpost about HOW AMAZING their lives are, are in fact miserable sociopaths. This is only the latest of proofs.

So let me state here, to all you good readers: my life is pretty great. I have a handsome, patient man that I equal parts love and hate, kids that I’d die for, a messy house and a big ass. My life is AMAZING in that I only really want a lot of money and a housekeeper, and maybe a personal chef and a magic weightloss pill. Other than that, things are just great.

Try lowering your expectations a bit, Jess. You don’t have to be angry forever.