Inspiration to Desperation

Last October I started squirreling away plastic milk containers in the hopes that come Christmastime I could line my driveway with glowing jugs of peace, love and goodwill towards men. But then my hopes were crushed when my husband (aka Ebenezer Scrooge) said we will absolutely not be putting out milk jug luminaries out because they are trashy. Who knew? I had to find a new project to do with the plethora of milk jugs I’d been stashing since Halloween. So with the help of my project loving children we decided on storm trooper helmets. I had 8 one-gallon milk jugs from three different manufacturers, a can of white spray paint, a box cutter and two sharpies in black and silver. So I felt quite prepared to make this awesome craft. I set my laptop up on the kitchen counter, got all the supplies close at hand and off I went.

If you attempt this project -which I pray you don’t- use the Sam’s club jug, it is by far the sturdiest. When my first helmet hot glued together like magic- I lost my mind when the rest fell to shit before my eyes. The other jugs were so floppy I couldn’t’ even hold them together to get the hot glue on, I hot glued more of my fingertips than anything so with no more fingerprints at least I can fall back on a life of crime. I finally got 3 helmets glued together (since you only need 2 jugs to create one helmet and I used 8 to make 3 you can see how frustrating it was).

Then it was time to paint. The lady at Michael’s said the paint I bought would work on plastic. Now I can read and the can said, ‘adheres to glass and wood’, but there was no mention of plastic so I should have known that this wasn’t going to work, but I was just too excited to care.

I went into the yard and painted all the helmets and put them in the garage to dry. Hey, did I mention cutting out the eyeholes? No? Oh, that’s because I forgot.

st1So when I attempted eyehole cutting all the paint started chipping off, luckily I was putting black permanent marker over those parts so it wouldn’t matter. Then my silver sharpie went missing, so I started using my silver paint marker. There is a reason paint markers are so thin, it is because you are only supposed to be addressing wedding envelopes or crafting in a scrapbook. The fumes from that dainty marker sent my brain into orbit and after so many strokes I was high as a kite. By the time I finished and wanted to take pictures of my storm-trooping children, my son didn’t even want his on (probably safer anyway since so much paint was flaking off).

if you want to see the way it’s supposed to look, click HERE.

If you have done this project already and it was a success, I don’t want to hear about it. I’m off to drink a cocktail or sniff some more of my marker.