Man Buys Poodle, Discovers It’s A Ferret

When I stopped laughing at this article I got annoyed. Maybe local pet stores have better cleaning and A/C service than an Argentinian bazaar, but this margin extreme isn’t a far-fetched comparison. I’d put a f*cknut that buys a rodent on steroids in the same cage as the yoga-panted debutante with her dog in a stroller. Hang on, that’s not fair: I’d be perfectly fine if it were a mutt in a stroller. I guess my beef is with douchebaggery, and I live near a mall where this practice is commonplace. But even as I attempt to structure an argument I’m realizing how yoga pants cuties hold a critical position in the character cast. Good source for poppy dialogue, walking fashion tickers (for frumpers like me who don’t know fashion if it slaps them in the face–see Happy Boost), civilian-army frontline in a zombie war….

Anyhow. Switch out the mutt with an overbred genetic experiment. Most pet stores purchase their product from puppy mills.

***Let it be a standing preface that I am an uneducated torch-holder. But I believe it’s passion well-spent.***

The articles I have read are not pretty. Many of these pets have parents that never see the light of day, never touch real earth. They live and die in wire cages without appropriate veterinary care or nutrition. Each puppy purchase reinforces those wires. Popular parents are forced to breed and breed and breed, resulting in generations of less-hardy offspring. They are more susceptible to disease, skin and respiratory conditions. Any way you slice it this is evil of the highest order.

Much debate exists. The only opposing argument with any merit is that closing pet stores will beef up online sales. Bait and switch clipart, little regulation, cleaner anonymity. I get that.

So sh*t will happen forever because there are a lot of sh*tty people.

But they’re the minority. Show Ms. Yoga Pants what happens behind the scenes and will she buy her next pram rider from a puppy store? Probably not. Open your mouths. Pet stores are busiest during holiday season. Remind your families about cheap shelter puppies. Roll down the windows and jam out to some Sarah Mclachlin. Harass house guests with surprise Power Point presentations. Show them a picture of my dog Frodo. He’s thirteen and a total pimp.

The world will change when we change it, simple as that. We can’t wait for someone else to do it.