The Defamation of the English Language, As Spoken By Teenagers

author: Nicole

duh

I was speaking with a woman at work about her 17 year old daughter’s end of the year activities. She was recounting a conversation they had and it went a little something like this.

Coworker: “You have to get home to work on your resume, college application and financial aid. Even though summers started you still have things to do..”

Daughter: “Oh my god mom -Stop being so extra!”

My work friend must have noticed my expression of confusion as she clarified,

“Extra, like being over the top, dramatic.”

Oh.

I tuned out immediately after that. If I have to learn a whole new language as a parent of a teenager – whenever that may be-I’m going to kill myself.

It’s incredibly easy to see that teenagers today are pretty much the scum of the earth. #YOLO, selfies, EDM, Justin Bieber, twerking .. Need I go on?

But the current lexicon is specifically brutal. Here are a few new words and phrases I’ve learned that make want me to put a cigarette out in my eyeball.

1. Basic – I’ve heard this to describe girls. Typically they are vapid, transparent and into very “standard” interests.

2. Throwing Shade – this apparently is to make snide comments or insults

3. Totes, Obvs. Anything else shortened – apparently kids do not have time to use complete words, forget sentences.

I’m sure I’m missing many more heinous examples – I am glad I do not know these. Please feel free to share your favorite least favorite ear worms.

Slang is nothing new but I’d rather have someone gag me with a spoon any day.

 

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