As a newly minted mother of two, I have a whole new perspective on parenting. We’ve all heard it before, seen commercials teasing about it, how you are so careful with the first, reading four blog posts before committing to a brand of baby shampoo, you know, just in case.
Then with the second, parents are painted as almost apathetic. I’d like to think it’s “go with the flow”, though anyone who knows me would laugh at that. Part of this stems from what we are bombarded with today, that everything you do, or don’t do, could potentially hurt your child beyond imagination and label you the worst parent to ever walk the earth. My husband and I used to laugh at that; for example, one book says if you use a pacifier, your child will be calmer, less chance of SIDS, and grow up to be president of the world, while another says the use will ruin sleep, make them dependent/needy, and basically lead to a life of crime (I may be exaggerating a tad, but you get the idea).
We like to think of ourselves as middle of the road, but the introduction of the second has presented a constant question of making sure I’m being as careful, while not neglecting my first or losing my mind.
We definitely aren’t as concerned about clothes, he can wear hand-me-downs, and perhaps a few new cute things as I can’t resist. But I found myself looking at poop-stained –albeit clean—onesies and thinking, hmmm, how much would people judge me if I put this on my child.
I also find myself having to let the second cry more. Before you call social services, this is limited, but with Dex, we always had someone to hold him, someone to take him for a walk, or a boob to offer… I didn’t have anywhere else to be. With Abram, he pretty much only cries when he wants food (from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds flat, with very little predictability) and that ONLY happens when Dex is discovering how to unlock a door, or wants more milk, or needs a bath because he took the entire contents of the sandbox from daycare home. In his scalp.
I know I’m not alone. In fact, people will probably tell me to shut up as Dexter still goes to daycare during the day so the juggling is way less. But we all are in the position of listening to a song over and over again, just because it gives us a few more minutes to wash our hands or go to the bathroom. And if someone has to cry for 30 seconds while it happens, then so be it, I am totally laid back.